Leading From a Fierce Heart

What comes to mind when you think of “effective leadership?” Think back to an encounter with a boss or a PTA president that left you rolling your eyes and complaining to your spouse and then think of an encounter that left you feeling energized, inspired, even grateful. What works? What doesn’t?

The old model of leadership—rooted in dominance, control, and productivity at all costs—is cracking. It might be having a last hoorah right now, but it will never be sustainable. What’s emerging is something far more powerful: leadership that is heart-centered, embodied, and deeply human.

But let’s be clear—leading from the heart is not the same as being a pushover. 

People conflate heart-led leadership with being “nice,” and too often the words are trying to “perform calm,” but the body is teeming with frustration, fear, dysregulation, or even rage.  People can feel the incongruence. It’s why we have to find our embodied anchorpoint. 

A good starting point is to download me free “Regulation Toolkit: 11 embodied practices to get out of overwhelm and back to badass

I am also LOVING this book by Kesia Urbaniak.  She is a badass, empowerment trainer that used to work as a dominatrix, but also studied to be a Taoist nun. The combo is frickin’ fierce. You can check out her book here: Click here

Heart-centered leadership doesn’t mean we avoid hard conversations, lower accountability, or try to make everyone happy. It means we learn to hold people—and ourselves—with empathy, integrity, and accountability at the same time. It’s leadership that is as courageous as it is compassionate. 

Too often, leaders understand this shift cognitively. They’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, and can even repeat the “right words” they read in the Brene Brown book. But their bodies tell a different story. Their nervous systems are still braced for threat, their communication still charged with subtle defensiveness or tension. Teams pick up on that incongruence instantly.

I have certainly been there.  Trying to “perform calm,” “Perform being regulated,” it felt like crap, not just for me, but I’m sure for the people in my presence. I wasn’t going in and alchemizing my frustrations, I wasn’t practicing my own regulation strategies so that I could show up with clean requests, rather than incongruent energy. 

When we’re dysregulated, disconnected, or performing compassion rather than embodying it, people can feel it. True heart-centered leadership begins in the body. It’s built through nervous system regulation, awareness of our triggers, and the ability to stay grounded when things get uncomfortable.

This kind of leadership requires ferocity—the kind that’s rooted not in dominance, but in clarity and courage. It’s the strength to stay open-hearted in the face of conflict, to hold boundaries with compassion, and to show up congruently, even when things get messy.

Old-paradigm leadership was built on control, hierarchy, and separation.
New-paradigm leadership is built on empathy, connection, and community.

It doesn’t prioritize productivity at the expense of people—it recognizes that belonging drives performance. It’s not about the leader being the smartest or strongest in the room—it’s about creating the conditions for everyone to thrive.

When leaders are embodied—when their words, actions, and energy align—they inspire trust. They create teams that are not just compliant, but committed. Not just efficient, but engaged.

The next generation of leadership will belong to those who can lead with both heart and backbone. The world doesn’t need more leaders who can quote Brene Brown. It needs leaders who can stay grounded, breathe through discomfort, and lead from a deeply regulated, embodied, human place.

Because when you lead from the heart—anchored, congruent, and alive—you don’t lose your power. You amplify it.